omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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