i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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