just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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