During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It was confusing and full of hummus
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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