if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
