he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
