The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
