I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
