That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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