i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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