what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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