I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
