I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
