i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
