So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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