Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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