oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
