You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
