Sponge bath it is.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
