dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
