I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Fuck appropriateness.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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