Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
