break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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