I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
