she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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