But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
