this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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