Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
