Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
