It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
tell me about the fingering
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
