Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
