I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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