This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
