I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize