Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
