Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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