My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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