Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
