Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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