After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
