if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize