are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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