I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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