Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
