I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
