its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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