Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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