You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Bring me that man meat
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
