i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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