It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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