We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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