What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
