i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
