Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
