Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
