You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
