i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
