She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
