I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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