Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
