Nicole vs. Life
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
