Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
