You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
