I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
