All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize